Tuesday, December 6, 2011

How many times......?

can someone build your hopes up and knock you down before they knock you out completely?|||They can hurt your body, but never touch your spirit.|||it all depends on how big they are meow! meow!!!....lol

What am i supposed to do to make them STOP?

My brothers wont leave me alone. They beat down my door, almost broke it today and throw stuff in my room or knock down my art work, completely destroying it. They do this to get my reaction, but ive tried ignoring it and they just beat me?


They are my little brothers, and so i wont hit them. But everyone sides with them because of this? NO ONE will listen to me, they always play the victim. And then like today, they got me so mad that i started to yell, and then they run out while throwing shoes at me and stuff, start running around my sleeping sister while throwing the things, and then my oldest brother yells at me for waking her up. and my dad wont listen to me! I dont know what to do, so please give me advice?|||Hidden camera works wonders, but I think you need help. Try a teen helpline in your town. It sounds like your dad isn't able to handle it. Maybe you could live with an aunt or cousin for a while.|||Start taking what they throw at you, and just keep it locked up or hidden... this way they get pissed when they see that their stuff is missing... personally i'd start by smashing skulls... but if you hurt one they're likely to get the hint... you just need to stand up for yourself... whether it be by taking their things away... or just straight up telling a parent.|||oh my... well you know I have two things you can do bc this is indeed a VERY tough situation... okay so you can either fight back... or... I hate to even say this but... call the cops or CSB... if you call the cops tell them your being a abused by family members and your dad is doing nothing to stop it... and if you call CSB tell them the same thing bc they'll take it more seriously... but I recommending fighting back bc if your dads not understanding then theres nothing you can do... or set them up... I really dont know but I figured maybe my input would spark some ideas of your own... I hope things get better for you... good luck|||Put a padlock on your door. Make your dad listen tell him how you feel , if he won't listen put everything in writing and tell him how hard it is for you and you would like some respect from the brothers. If he won't do anything talk to a school counselor. But don't keep this pent up, talking is better than nothing.


Good Luck|||record them doing it on your cellphone or something of the like and show it to your dad|||It sounds to me like a lack of supervision in your house which is not good. But, unless there is physical abuse or sexual abuse from your father or somebody else older than you, do not call the police, I mean it!!!. My little brother and my son did the same thing to me, you just need to be strong, maybe go for walks. Something worse than what they are doing to you now it will be for all of you to be split apart and in foster homes. You are very strong, I wish you the best!!!

What do you think? I want to get other people's opinions before I countinued writing...?

Okay I am writing a book called "Everessense". It is about different people who are called "others". They are human, but they have strange powers. There is this international law that states that the "others" cannot use their powers in public. But some of them want to and they formed a group called the "Organization", who is led by an "other" who call himself Zeldan. When this group gets out of control and goal changes to destroying the world... "Others" that was against this group then come together and form the "Everessence" to try to stop him. The story goes to the different points of views of different "others", this is the beginning of story, which is in Ashley Grays point of view. She have the ability to see in the future.








Ashley


San Francisco, California


North America








The alarm went off. It read 6:30.


A lazy, unforgiving hand slammed on it. Instead of the alarm going off as it was meant to do, it was knocked down to the wooden floor, making it buzz louder. That was when Ashley groaned, finally got up reached for the alarm and turned it off. She then slowly got up and then half walked, half crawled to the shower. That would wake her up.


Once the hot, steaming water rained down on her, she was suddenly was awake. Ashley then got dressed quickly, brushed her hair and teeth and then grabbed her bags for school. It was when she got to the stairs when she remembered. Her dream.


It was strange. In the dream, she was with people just like her and then they were going to save the world. Ashley quickly dismissed it as idiocy and concluded it just being a dream. She haven’t had a premonition in months.


Even though the popular Ashley Gray, who had flawless bronze skin, beautiful jet black hair, amazing teeth, a great figure, and is a jaw dropper to men and boys alike, seemed normal to everyone, she wasn’t. She was one of the ‘others’.





She had the ability to see in the future.





Then she thought of the dream again and still dismissed it. Something was telling her that this was something other than a dream. Also at the same time, the other “conscious” she had was telling her that it was nothing. But at the same time, something was telling her this wasn’t because she had others like it before.





But this one stood out from all the others. Somehow… All this conflicting thoughts and conciseness was making her confused. So she completely forgot about it.





She continued down the stairs.





Downstairs in the kitchen, her father was drinking coffee and was reading the morning paper. Her mother was flipping pancakes on the stove. They were the only ones that knew about Ashley abilities. They forbidden themselves to have other children for the risk that they would find out.





“How was last night?” Will, her father asked, as he watched her walk in.


“I had another dream,” she whispered quietly.


This stopped the both of them. Almost like time was frozen. Will held his coffee in mid air. As Wendi , her mother let the pancakes slowly burn on the grill.


“What was it about?” Wendi whispered.


“Me saving the world with ‘others’ just like me…”


“You had dreams like that before.” Will said.


“Yes, Dad. But this one was different. Like… Like it is going to happen.”


“Anything is possible when you are special like this.” Wendy said


“Mom! I am only fifteen, how am I poor Ashley Gray in suppose to save the world?”


“I think that this is nothing,” her dad said. “I mean you had dreams like this before… This is most likely nothing.”


“I know. I thought that too. I am just going to dismiss it again.” She then looked at her watch “It is time for me to go.”


“Have a good day at school, sweet heart.” Wendi said. Then she added, “And remember that we love you.”


“I love you, too.” She grabbed an apple and was out the door.


Ashley always took the morning trolley to school. The fresh breeze in the San Francisco air calmed her down as she walked to the stop. And when she saw the Golden Gate Bridge in the distance she smiled. Ashley loved it here and didn’t wanted to go and save the world. She just wanted to be like everyone else


She wanted to be normal.


“Why me?” she thought as she saw the trolley coming in the distance.


“Why?”








That is apart of what I written for this part. I do not care if the comment is bad. I just want to become a better writer.|||When I first saw your synopsis, I thought, "Oh no!", but I decided to read it. I was surprised that not only was I interested, but I enjoyed it. A couple comments however. A minor one that I caught immediately was you omitted had before forbidden. I'm sure that was a typographical error. My chief complaint was your description of her. Instead of listing all her attributes at once, why not say something to the effect that she swung her hair over her shoulders when she got out of bed. Then you could add the adjectives. You could also say she gave a brief--or no--glance to her figure in the mirror; that it bothered her that men and boys alike were drawn to her curvaceous figure. Then again, maybe she liked the power it gave her. Will she use that attribute later in the story? Give the readers information, but let them use their imagination in how you present her. Another note, give some description to the parents and the setting. It will make the story more real--e.g. farmhouse-styled kitchen, Victorian nook where she ate the pancakes. The one thing I didn't like was that she half-scrambled for the bathroom. It made me think of a monster crab! Keep at it!|||very good :)|||*...sorry so long... most of the constructive criticism I write tends to be...*





1. Many stories posted here, for a reason I don't understand, start with a bathroom scene.


Perhaps it's to describe a character, but no reader I know wants or cares to know what getting up, taking a shower (etc.) is like for anyone, even themselves.


Most who write successful autobiographies, for example, never start with such a description.





2. Suggest you let the character's appearance (Ashley) come around when it's really needed. Let it occur with interesting action, just the way you let the reader know where she is.





3. Further suggest you begin this with the much more interesting and near-perfect dialog scene.


3a. Begin with the action seen there, and the explanation given about 'others.'


3b. Watch out for the mother burning those pancakes: the word "As" is unneeded. I assume the word "in" near there is a typo.


3c. Recall what is said in "Strunk and White: The Elements of Style" - "Omit unneeded words."





4. Stay in active-voice writing mode (like the dialog) and use actions that describe, rather than passive descriptions, and I think you have a very interesting set-up here.





5. Thanks for the share, I appreciate it.





6. Have you ever read "Watchmen"?


I realize it's a 'just' very large comic, but have discovered (re: Gaiman's The Sandman series) that such 'comics' are indeed literature. I was reminded a bit of that reading your piece.





7. Begin with action and you have it.





Good luck on all.|||This is REALLY good. you should totally finish the story. what happens next? it sounds SO awesome!|||Before I comment on what you have written, I want to say something about the plot. First I have to say the calling other people 'others' and calling an organization a 'organization' is really not original. If I were you I would try to come up with some stronger names. You are calling these things by what they really are...just think about it and how it sounds. It's like calling a people, human or dogs, canine, they already are those things. Also, if these 'others' plot to 'destroy the world' they will have on place to live, where do they plan on living? They will have no place seeing as how the world will be gone. Consider having them to plot the end of organized civilization or something.





In the first paragraph you slip inot a passive vioce, try to stay in the present. Even if there is a moment in the past, use one sentence to transiton into the past, then write the rest like it is happeneing at this time.





Once the hot, steaming water rained down on her, she was suddenly was awake.





You have any extra word in this sentence, this is awkward.





She had the ability to see in the future





The above statement is passive. Ask your self, she had the ability (past tense), but does she now? Did she lose it? Rewrite as such:





She has the ability to see into the future.(unless she truly did lose the power.)


At this point I am going to stop and not do an inline crit. You very often slip into a passive voice. Have some puncuation errors and grammarical problems as well. In your diaglogue, try putting some of the action before the speaking to change it up a bit. I have no feel for your world or your character. Try adding decriptions to show the reader what your world looks like, get into Ashley's head and show us some of her emtions, how does she feel/think. Don't be in such a hurry to write your story, strech it out a bit. Tell us things, her dream for instance. Try to give more details than just a sentence or two. keep in mind this is constructive critcism designed to help you write better, not bring you down. As a writer, you will need to develope thick skin, not everyone will like your stuff.





Keep writing!





~Louvre~

Property Damage/ Homeowners Insurance question??

I woke up this morning to find a Century 21 sign had knocked down my chain link fence. Upon closer inspection the top pole is completely bent... Im sure a car had to have hit the sign to cause such damage. Do i call the police? Do i report the damage to my homeowners insurance? I have a 500 dollar deductable... Im sure the damage is repairable for much less than that! What steps should i take? Just fix the fence and forget about it?|||just fix it and don,t tell your insurance co. it,s cheaper that way. I would call the cops and make a report|||If the damage is less than your deductible I would repair it and forget about it. Is it a sign in your own yard to sell your house?


If so, try to move it to a better location. If it belongs to someone else, tell them to move it somewhere else.





Its much better just to take care of things under your deductible yourself. Unfortunately, if you report it to your ins. company, even tho no claim is eventually paid out, it can be taken into consideration later. Hate that it works this way and I think it is totally UNFAIR, but sometimes it happens.|||Report it to the police. Call Century 21 if the sign does not belong to your house. Do not report it to your insurance company.|||Call the police and make a report. If you can see a dent in the sign, it's obvious it was caused by a vehicle. Call a Century 21 agent about the sign. Then if the damage is less than your deductible, just fix it. If the sign was on your property and not advertising your home, Century 21 may help in the repairs.|||If the Century 21 sign belongs on your land, you may want to call your real estate agent and let them know that it has been damaged. Otherwise they may hold you liable for the damage sign, though I don't think that they cost too much. If the repairs are going to be under your deductible its best not to turn them in, unless you can prove who did the damage. If you think you know who has done it, your insurance company may be able to help get damages from the third party. This varies state by state. But if it is under your deductable just fix it yourself.|||Call The Century 21 office. Sounds like they put sign to close to your property. If they blow you off then call the police.|||making a claim on your home owners policy for anything short of a total loss of the house or major damage will be a decision you will regret.





go after c21

18 year old female with a 23 year old male, too much of an age difference?

Hello there,


I am currently an exchange student in Japan, I've graduated high school in my home country and 18 happens to be age where we are recognized as fully adult. So this past weekend I visited Atsugi Naval Air base for their 4th of July celebration.





I met this completely, down right, amazingly attractive Naval officer. He knocked the wind right outta me. Anyway, so we got to talking and everything was going really well. But when he asked for my number I panicked and told him I am a high school student. Now, I know 18 is legal for sexual relations etc but I thought he'd be like most armed forces guys and expect certain things so I let him believe I was younger. So basically now, Iam kicking myself but I know I made the right decision. Maybe.


But do you think a 18 year old with a 23 year old is too large of an age difference?|||You're only talking five years. At your age, that may seem huge. It will mean nothing as time goes by. While the relationship is just dating, do you like the same music? Do you have fun together?



He might be understanding about your explanation that you were as scared about the age difference as he was about the possibility that you may have been around 16.|||How do you know how armed forces guys in Japan think? How many forces guys have you met to make wild guesses like that? I have met many American sailors and they have been very respectful of me and my women friends. I haven't met any other types of forces guys, but you can't generalise like that.|||My wife is 5 years younger than me, we do just fine.





Careful with those Naval officers... Especially the pilots, they have huge egos.





Was he still hitting on you when you said you were under 18? May be best to leave it alone if he was...|||lol no and plus age isnt anything but a number...i mean i see if you are going with a 30+ guy and just think that he's only 5 years older than you are|||No, it isn't too much difference, and as you grow older you will grow comfortable with even more of a difference in age.|||men mature slower than women...it would be more awkward the other way around...but not much.





my last girlfriend was 10 years older than me...maturity wise there was a gulf between us. she was more like my mother. the relationship lasted a month.|||It is acceptable difference. Don't worry about that.


But give yourself time before getting serious about this.|||same age gap between me and my boyfriend, so no, there have been FARRRR bigger age gaps|||it's not too large of an age difference.|||well sence your both adults it shouldn't matter right|||Its only five years, that's not to much at all|||No it isn't. My fiancee is six years older than me.|||nahhh! im 21 and i like a 25 yr old..no worries girl

How come Umaga doesn't do these two things anymore since he made his debut attacking Ric Flair?

Ever since he attacked "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair the day after "Big Time" Wrestlemania, he hasn't really strangled any opponents while snarling and growling in their face after he's knocked them down in at the turnbuckle like he did to Ric Flair and he no longer ever did then "dump drop" move that they show him doing to Ric Flair on the TitanTron during his ring entrance video.





In case you don't know what I mean by "dump drop", I mean that move he did where after a few headbutts, he had Flair completely up in the air and dropped him like some sort of "superplex", but while standing in the middle of the ring instead of standing on a turnbuckle.|||yeah i know what you are talking about and its the samoan drop and take it from a guy that people have called samoan and hawaiian before (even though i really am not, lol) it is a powerful move, i guess that because of the whole lashley vs. umaga and mcmahon thing, i dont think that wwe is givin him much of a chance but i think he might get one after lashley, that would be cool if he feuded with santino marella!|||DUH......Umaga isnt the vocal point of anything right now. He is standing behind Vince and Shane , which is a shame. People would rather it be Umaga vs Lashley than the crap going on right now.|||oh you mean a samoan drop. He did it to Bobby Lashley during wrestlemania.

How do i improve my muscle memory in basketball shooting?

ok i have a problem with my shot: for a long time now i have not been to shoot properly. Its not that i know this because the ball isnt going into the net like it used to, but that my form feels all wrong and ive tried everything to fix it.


but at the beginning of the year, for a long time straight, i was able to shoot with perfect form, smooth jumpers from anywhere on the court that i was consistently able to knock down.


But now, for about a month straight, i have completely lost my ability to shoot. i have no idea why. its not that i stopped playing or something. its that all of a sudden, one day, my entire shot was gone. i cant knock down jumpers from anywhere on the court.


this has always troubled me, as my ability to shoot properly always comes and goes in streaks. . it is my muscle memory that is messed up, i know that. but i dont know how to improve it. for years repeatedly shooting as best i could to try to improv bt it wont wrk. What do i do???? help me|||Repetition.....keep shooting, keep shooting, keep shooting, keep shooting, keep shooting, keep shooting, keep shooting, keep shooting, keep shooting, keep shooting, keep shooting, keep shooting, keep shooting, keep shooting, keep shooting, keep shooting, keep shooting, keep shooting, keep shooting, keep shooting, keep shooting, keep shooting, keep shooting, keep shooting, keep shooting, keep shooting, keep shooting, keep shooting, keep shooting, keep shooting, keep shooting, keep shooting, keep shooting, keep shooting, keep shooting, keep shooting, keep shooting, keep shooting,.|||shoot some more.|||umm practice maybe?|||For muscle memory, the only thing you can do is repeat, repeat, repeat.





It sounds like you might have something else going on with your shot that is psyching you out. Pressure?|||ay maybe it's not your shot everyone has slumps|||Practice





Work on your balance and make sure you follow through on every shot. Jump straight up and down, not forward/backward or to either side.





Simple daily practice is the key.|||This has happened with me too.





Go to the free-throw line and, (without the ball,) practice a smooth set shot, keeping your left hand still while rolling your right hand outward. Do a smooth motion. Relax. Bend your knees at the beginning, and as you shoot, rolls them out, to a regular standing position. Make sure you keep your left hand still, and on the exact left side of the ball. Make sure you don't push with it. Also, extend your right arm towards the hoop.





Every day, before I practice, I do this at the freethrow line. I am about a 50% shooter at anywhere before the 3-point line.|||check your form, when ur forms wrong everything screws up. When u follow through make sure ur middle finger points towards the hoop.|||shoot 100+ times a day and atleast make 50|||This is a fairly easily fixable problem,


Number 1) tape yourself shooting or have someone with good knowledge of basketball watch you shooting for around 20 minutes with shots from all around this can find great flaws in areas like a smooth total body shot not just smooth elbow movement


Number 2) shoot around the court for around 5 minutes then practice game situation shots by running and shooting off of one foot or doing a move and then quickly shooting also do fade aways this will help your game situation shooting


Number 3) try switching the place that you shoot at like going to a different court and practicing for a couple hours and also try using a different ball


Number 4) Practice at the same time (if possible every day) and for around the same amount of time doing consistently the same shots around the court


Number 5) Relax during shooting time and mix it up try doing post moves for fun or really long shots just to see if you can make them and don't think that you will always have these slumps if you do this and have fun during shooting sessions your shot will have a constant improvement|||DO (CALF RAISEUPS U JUMP HIGHER )|||stop practing for awhile and go see a doctor about your muslels i used to have the same problem shooting darts you body gets tried of the same thing every day so stop for awhile|||If you are serious, it sounds as if it IS your form. The ball must be aligned with your toe, then knee, then elbow (in tight) and then ball. That needs to be a straight line. Hold your follow through. Lots of resources on the web. www.bbhighway.com Good luck.|||Don't think too much when you shoot. Just relax. I used to have the same problem, then one day I just relaxed and my shots kept falling.|||if you want the mechanical answer, make sure that you elbow is straight and that you are bending your knees when you shoot, also make sure your wrist isnt flopping around and you have a strong wrist break. try not to fade away or to the left or right, if anything at all, lean forward when you shoot.|||when your streak comes to scoring the ball then try and c wat ur doing with ur form and when u feel that ur streak is fading away try and repeat wat u did during the streak that u wer scoring