Why is my mom so cruel to me =\?

The woman Absolutely hates me.. =| whenever i have an argument with my brother she says the meanest things to me that just knocks my confidence downhill. One time I had a little argument with my brother and I called him ugly and she gave me a really dirty look and said "err, your the ugly one, have you seen yourself without make up!!!" WTF what kind of mom says that to her daughter? whenever my brother calls me names she doesn't say anything. And my brother said about a guy "damnn his hot" and i said "haha that's so gay" and my mom said "b*tch **** offfff, your a f*cking lesbian..!" =\ and my brother was calling my mom names like saying "mom you look fat", "mom you look like your aging a lot lately" and that type of stuff and I said to him "don't talk to her like that!!!" and my mom said "oh shut the f*ck up and stay out of it"





She seriously hates me. %26amp;%26amp; I don't know why!!!





I think it's because i'm a girl and she grew up in a sexist family..





but yeah shes so cruel to me and she has completely knocked my self esteem down. trust me, any girl called ugly by her own mom would be put down. and even though it was last month i still can't forget it.





all i do is try and be nice to her but she HATEESSS ME.





I'm 16 (17 next month), I don't smoke, drink, i'm a vrigin, i'm a good girl.. i don't see why she would hate me?|||My mother treated me much the same way, seriously, what you described could have been a day in my life 20 years ago. I just started therapy about a month ago to deal with the anxiety that she has caused. I don't know if I will ever know why my mom treated me this way, but she would tell me that we didn't go places or have people over because I was a snooty ***** and people didn't like me(I was 8 years old), I was ugly, dumb, etc. I was none of those things, but I am starting to think that she was the one that people didn't like, that she felt herself to be ugly and dumb. I could be way off course, but it's a good guess. Don't wait too long to help yourself, after years of suffering the abuse of this woman I am just now getting therapy, I wish I had done this years ago.|||mayb there is some issue you don't know about like, and honestly im not saying this to be mean, maybe you were adopted? or maybe your mum is just really stressed at work or ssomething and takes it out on you, also people will get angry at someone if they are about to be seperated so maybe your mum is scared of not seeing you when you go to uni or someplaec??|||sometimes people do and say things for reasons that they themselves are not even awar of. On some level, she does know the answer, however, sometimes people are so far into denial that they are living in autopilot. They're just going through the motions of life trying to forget whatever it is that they need to forget. I'm sure your mom has a closet full of skeletons that you are not aware of and my bet is on how she was treated as a child. Are you the oldest? What age did she have you? There could be some resentment about having you so young.She could possibly be blaming you for a life that she lost. Your a girl. She could have some traumatic issues with her mom that she is dumping on you. Have you eer asked her why she treats you that way? Have you ever sincerly told her that you believe she hates you? Write her a heart felt letter and explain to her how you feel. Just be honest. As a mom, who had and still does have some issues with the female gender because of my mom, and I can only speak from my experience...I love my daughter with all my soul. But I have, at times, made the mistake of hurting her feelings...sometimes we can't escape our past. Even when we have charged full speed ahead at the problem. Even if we have made huge changes and battled to close a particular chapter in our lives...we can't always escape our emotions. What will matter is becoming aware. Realizing when you feel out of control and try to stop it before it begins. Anticipate your reactions...and your case...your mom needs to find out for herself what the reasons are, if she knows them then she needs to make a conscience decision to stop the cycle. Its a very hard thing to do. It can take many,many years to even just scratch the surface to some problems. It took my mom 5 years to really "get it". But it was a combined family effort. Therapy might be her only salvation and yours. First step though...is to make her aware of her actions. Like I said...she could be on autopilot and just moving through the motions of her emotions. Sometimes people need a "WAKE UP" slap in the face type of reaction...give it to her...not litterally! Let her know what she is doing to you. It could be the best thing that ever happened. But be prepared...it could also be the worst. It could feel like the worst decision possible and then turn out good. Nobody can ever tell you how the story will end. Talk with a guidance counsler on how to approach this letter to her. I really wish you well!