Why does my husband freak out over what should be a simple disagreement? It resorts in calling me names?

As an example. After having a party I wanted to pick up all the food left out (even crums) before we went to bed and my husband did not help. He rather take a shower and go to bed. He knew I was cleaning and came into the kitchen and told me I will get it tomorrow. I said I want to get all of the food picked up tonight. He blew up calling me a *****, that I am never happy, I always have something wrong, to shut the F up, that I am crazy and a crazy *****. Oh and stupid. This has been a normal thing. I cannot take the name calling anymore and I cannot stand how he freaks out over what should be a simple disagreement where we should meet half way. I asked him if that is how you talk to your wife. he says yes. I then ask you are going to disrespect your wife and he says yes you deserve it. This is just an example. Is it normal for him to freak out what should be a simple disagreement in a healthy normal relationship? Plus, to call me names and knock me down completely? I know it is wrong but why does he do this. I do not talk down to him or call him names. I do not drop to that level but in the end it leaves me hurt and depressed. He does not even seem to care. We will go for days without talking. I choose to not be near him and avoid him. We have two kids as well. Girl and boy and they are 5 and up. Any advice besides divorce?|||kick him in the balls


maybe that will wake him up|||COUNSELING see why he resorts to name calling it might have something to do with his childhood|||Kaye, I would suggest that you just do what you want to do. If that means cleaning up, then clean up. If it is too big of a job, then relax and wait till morning. The sun will still come up. Give your man a hug, tell him he is wonderful, and he just might surprise you.


My advice; Living with someone is hard enough without all the drama. Kindness has to start somewhere, let it start with you. Put aside the anger if you can, touch his hand or arm, look him in the eyes, and tell him you love him. Okay, I almost gagged on that last part. Tell him how important he is to you instead. Yea, that is better.


Don't give up Kaye, make it work. Your kids are watching you and 30 years down the road they will repeat what they see and hear. Good luck to you! I mean it!