I am in an new relationship, and I feel so vulnerable. I have spent years building a wall and now it is completely knocked down. I also feel real insecure about how he feels about me. I am not nor have I ever felt insecure. Is this a normal phase in a relationship or not. It has been a long time for me to actually open myself up to someone and say "Yes I am his girlfriend." Please explain what I am feeling.|||Hi hun , good god you sound just like me , we are soooo alike !! Its perfectly normal , sounds like you have been hurt in the past , you put your wall up pretty quickly though and it dont take much to make you bored ......... you are feeling this is too good to be true , dont panic , it doesnt all go bad , enjoy it instead of worrying about it , have fun Erin xx|||It is normal. Every relationship begins with a certain amount of blind faith in the person you are seeing.|||If you have spent a lot of time pushing others away and guarding yourself, it is completely understandable that you'd feel very vulnerable.
The best thing to do is talk with him a lot. Get him to open up. Practice being forthcoming with him. Let him know that you're scared, and that you want him to help you with that as much as he can.
Some things will hurt - there will be mistakes. Since you're so vulnerable, they may be especially painful. Don't dwell on that; let the hurts go and keep moving.
It's worth it.|||Its like you say you spent years if not your entire life building a wall around yourself. In order to keep people from either getting to know the true you or getting close to you in a relationship, they try to get in and you terribly push them away. In order for him to get close to you and for you to feel less insecure about yourself you need to take down your shielding wall one brick at a time, it won't be an easy task mind you but it will get down eventually. In the mean time good luck and I hope everything works out for the best.|||I think it is wonderful that your wall has been knocked down. We spend so much time building it up that we forgot what it is like to be vulnerable. I think that what you are feeling is natural, you met someone that you really like and now you are scared that you are going to get hurt again. Take your time and everything will be okay. Congrats and Good luck.|||It is perfectly normal to feel that way, though not everyone goes through it.
Whenever someone gets through your defenses like you talk about, they have the ability to hurt you. If it's been a while since someone has gotten through, it's even harder to accept.
Just being his "girlfriend" isn't that scary. It's just a phase of the relationship, and can define things as little as "we are casually dating" to "I'm his lover and best friend, and I hope we get married one day".
Don't feel that the girlfriend label makes you have to move at a particular pace. Take your time, enjoy growing into the relationship, and remember that even if the guy is through all your defenses, you still have a brain. Use it, and be safe!|||It's normal because you have really strong feelings for him...and you just don't know what would happen if he left your side...|||it happens i was the same. then after a while it goes away and you see that person is for you. helps you feel better about yourself, and helps you and provides for you......|||I'm married and I still feel exactly like you are describing. I'm really insecure too, though you are saying this is a new thing. you must really like him and are scared of losing him, it's normal. I hope you are able to get beyond that cause it's not a fun feeling.|||It's normal to feel that way. When you build a wall around you and you break it down, you feel vulnerable. Just listen to what your heart is saying and everything will work out.Everything your feeling is normal. You can build your wall back up, but don't block everything out. It takes time to open up and express your feelings. You'll be alright, just wait and see.|||It`s cetainly normal to feel that way when you`ve been hurt in the past.Sometimes when we feel vulnerable it`s due to being open, truthful and honest...basically laying it all on the line on the chance that it`s finally THE ONE.Sounds like you`ve found a great bloke there if the ol`defences have came down.We all need someone we can share everything with , no man/woman is an island, after all, good on yer there Erin and well done!!! Steve.x
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